I didn’t mean to do it. When my best friend asked me to attend a hot yoga class with her the following morning, I couldn’t think of a better way to start our Saturday. I also didn’t give my selection of vegetables at Friday night’s dinner a second thought. Hindsight …
Read More »Socks Were Never Meant to Have Partners
As the primary laundry-doer around here, I find myself constantly pondering the following: WHERE ARE ALL THE SOCKS? We are a family of six, and we own no less than a billion pairs of socks[1]. How many of those pairs are currently in their natural, paired-up state, happily living their …
Read More »Do You Eat Your Feelings? Let’s Talk Weight Loss with Noom
I have never struggled with my weight. Never in my life. I have always been thin without trying. (I promise if you keep reading you’ll understand why I led with this. And I also promise you’ll want to punch me less. Maybe. I don’t know. You know what, nevermind on …
Read More »As a Parent, I’m Thankful for These Small Joys
Let me get this out of the way from the outset: I never take for granted how blessed I am to be called “Mom” by three spectacular souls. They are everything to me, and Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it allows me to truly recognize and express gratitude …
Read More »An Open Letter to Amy Schumer: Please Allow Me to Show You a Proper Dump
Hi, A-Schu. I can call you that, right? Because you’ve always seemed quite approachable and awesome, so I feel like we’re friends. Not quite BFFs, but close: If I’m being honest, I may or may not have imagined a TMZ story headlined “Troublemaking Trifecta,” in which J-Law, A-Schu and M-Bye …
Read More »My Toddler isn’t ‘Terrible’ — She Just Likes to F#*k with Me
Every parent of a potty-training toddler knows the characteristic grunt — that bone-chilling noise that sends you running to the nearest bathroom in full-on sprint mode, because a Situation Code Brown is imminent. This morning, I heard this petrifying sound while driving, en route to my daughter’s school. As I …
Read More »Your Fool-Proof Guide to Getting Lucky this St. Patrick’s Day
I have a confession to make. I desperately need to get lucky. Seriously. The situation is dire. It has been soooooooo long. Since I’ve felt lucky. In love. Sheesh, people — get your minds out of the gutter. This is a family website, after all. Anyhow, yes, my own personal …
Read More »The Glad Game
I sat on my patio, book in my lap and cool glass of chardonnay in my hand, and I looked up. I saw the thick-trunked aspen that my husband planted nearly a decade ago and suddenly realized just how big it has grown over the years. I listened to the rustle …
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