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Dear World: Here’s Anna’s 2017 Christmas Letter

christmas letterA few weeks ago, Anna Thornley wrote this crazy insightful post about the crazy specific steps to writing the perfect Christmas letter.

We totally celebrate her crazy awesome spirit — and today, she is sharing her Christmas letter with Reno Moms Blog.

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2017 is coming to a close and we are pleased to report that we didn’t have another baby and I am not pregnant. Miracles do happen!

Kid #4 turned 1 in February and, based mostly on the fact that she can’t talk back yet, has become our objective favorite. Her favorite pastime is to steal and use everyone else’s toothbrushes. She also likes to eat the leftover toothpaste out of the bathroom sinks. She hates to ride in the car and screams bloody murder when faced with a car ride that lasts longer than 30 seconds. As the youngest child in a family of ill-behaved heathens, she has learned to shout, “STOP IT!” and “ENOUGH!” whenever a brother or sister is near. She is still aggressively non-blonde.

Kid #3, who previously was our objective favorite, turned 3 in March and immediately forgot how to speak without whining and hasn’t followed a single instruction since. She takes weekly swim lessons which she protests because “swim lessons are for babies” but considering she sinks like a brick when placed in water, we’re thinking the lessons are still useful. She played soccer this fall and, because she was willing to actually kick the ball, immediately surpassed her older brother and sister in athletic prowess. She learned to ride a two-wheeler bike without training wheels this year and only responds if you call her Big Moo.

Kid #2 turned 6 in August and is in kindergarten. He played baseball, basketball, and soccer this year. He spent the bulk of each season meowing at the children on the opposing team so, you know, team MVP. He successfully avoided using any tissues this year, instead only wiping boogers on his shirt sleeves, despite his mother’s many protests. He has perfected the skill of annoying his sisters and doesn’t ever do as he’s told without being reminded 17 times. We thought maybe 6 would be the year that he stopped shrieking in response to everything but we were wrong.

Kid #1 turned 7 in January and is in 2nd grade. She is in a gymnastics class and regularly taunts her mother’s inability to do the splits. She refuses to learn to spell despite her parents’ insistence that spelling will be a more valuable life skill than being able to do the splits. She responded to any request made of her this year by stomping her feet, rolling her eyes and screaming. She didn’t once voluntarily brush her hair.

My husband goes to work and mows the lawn. He got a mule deer tag this year and he and Kid #2 were able to spend some quality time together on a successful hunt.

After years of working outside the home, we made the decision that I should quit my job so that I could follow my true passion: laundry. As a stay-at-home mom, I am unable to keep the house clean without having to worry about a “real job” getting in the way.  The kids consistently agree that I am “the worst” and that I “always ruins everything” both of which I never really had time to focus on while working outside the home.

Tripp and Gus are still with us. They’re dogs. We don’t have to worry too much about them because even if we forget to feed them, they’re more than happy to eat anything that’s left on the table or counters. To show their appreciation that we usually do remember to feed them, they regularly poop in the hallway during the night.

In the interest of knowing when enough is enough, we’ll wrap it up by wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy 2018!

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About Anna Thornley

Anna Thornley
Anna Thornley is a Jersey Girl living in the Wild West with her husband, their three children (with another one on the way) and two dogs. She desperately misses the beach and humidity but tries to remember to appreciate the beauty of the mountains. She works full-time outside of the home and is generally frantic in her attempts to keep everyone (and everything) moving in the right direction. Her house is a mess, but everyone in it is happy and loved—so she considers it a success. Anna spends almost all of her free time doing laundry. Her family loves to spend time together watching football and playing outside. Anna is still trying to come to terms with the fact that her family expects to eat dinner every single night. Follow Anna on Twitter to keep up with all her family’s antics: @rudeytudeymama

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