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No More Mommy Wars!

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I have no idea why as mothers we have the urge to prove that we’re doing better than EVERYONE else out there or why we think that WE have it harder.

Mommy wars are becoming an epidemic that just needs to stop. Why are we labeling each other to pin ourselves against one another? Shouldn’t we helping each other out instead of putting each other down?

Or why is it that each of our parenting experiences cannot be completely unique on its own? You may have seen a lot of these wars on social media, commercials and on other blogs. Mommy Wars can be ignited by any “Mom” topic such as parenting, stay at home vs working mom, breastfeeding, vaccinations and the list goes on.

What gets me the most is that we have no one else to blame for these Mommy Wars but ourselves. That’s right ladies; we started this shit because we feel entitled to belittle other women/mothers to make us feel better about our lives. I’m typically uninterested in the entire Mommy War debacle until I saw the following comment on my friend’s feed. “Probably had ‘C’ section, no labor, no pain just lay there and the doctor delivers! “

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I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that comment. I had to reread the comments over and over again. I was in disbelief that now all moms are going to bash one another for how they give birth to their child.

Coming from a Mom that felt like complete and utter letdown to my child because I had to deliver C-Section instead of vaginally, I was outraged and disappointed that women are stooping this low to ensure we all feel inferior against one another. There is nothing at all that is glamorous about giving birth via C-section or vaginally.  Either way it’s still a beautiful experience. Who are we to judge how a stunning baby comes into this world? The fact of the matter is that all of us strong and remarkable mothers delivered healthy babies safely. The latter needs to be celebrated and appreciated; that is the ONLY thing we need to be focusing on. There is no debate on that.

I am not the world’s perfect Mommy lover by any means. I unfortunately judge other moms with just a glance at a grocery store. I’m learning how to try my best not to because I’m only human. My awful critical side comes out in my moment of weakness, yet I have to take a step back and ask myself, “Why the hell am I judging her anyways? I don’t have much room to talk my kid did that the other day ten times worse! ”

Like every other Mom out there, I strive to be the best Mom I can be and in reality, I’m an over worked, messy, irrational, shortcut taking mombie (mom zombie). I’ve learned to embrace the hurricane of a mess created delightfully by my active toddler as well as understanding that all moms are unique in their home situations and instead of judging I should lend them a helpful hand/shoulder to cry on when the going gets rough. I wouldn’t want another mother to judge me. So why should I judge them?

There are so many other things in this world to worry about. Critiquing other mothers shouldn’t be at the top of our list. We should be supporting one another because we are all in the same boat, regardless if we’re a SAHM or working mom, a breastfeeding mom or a bottle feeding mom. We ought to use each other as resources to get through our tiring and stressful days of raising our children.

Regardless of how frustrating our lives are at the moment remembering that all of us women — no matter where we stand in our lives as mothers — are all here to do the same exact thing: raise our bright and wonderful children.

Motherhood isn’t a contest or a competition or a war. One cannot do it better than another. We need to stand united together as mothers and say F#$k these Mommy Wars! After all, aren’t we striving to teach our children to be nice and respect others? Why can’t we practice what we preach?

Ladies, if we don’t have anything nice to say, we should keep it to ourselves.

 

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About Jannine Wells

Jannine Wells
Jannine Wells is a Navy brat traveling the world and moving every 4 years until finally settling in Nevada. She was raised in Fernley Nevada and moved to Reno in 2010 to finish her degree at TMCC. She has a background in childhood education and is an advocate for children’s education and development. Jannine is married to her high school sweetheart and is raising a beautiful one year old daughter, Haidyn, and kitty daughter, Sassafras. She is a paper pusher by day, blogger and amateur chef by night passionate about learning how to become a better mother.  Jannine started her blog Sunny In Reno to write about her pregnancy and journey through motherhood.   View all posts by Jannine.

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