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The One With All The Thoughts

Copyright: studiostoks / 123RF Stock Photo
Copyright: studiostoks / 123RF Stock Photo

As a mom of three children under the age of 5, things can get a little hectic (read: it’s usually total and utter chaos at all moments of everyday).  Despite the fact that it appears as though nothing is getting done, my brain is usually moving at warp speed, trying to keep up with everything that’s going on.   The following is an idea of what an average 30 seconds inside my head looks like…

  • … I need to check in for my flight to Las Vegas tomorrow
  • Did I feed the cat?
  • Did the cat poop in the corner?
  • Am I a bad mom for not taking my kids on the Polar Express train?
  • Did I remember to brush my teeth today?
  • Have I remembered to brush the kids’ teeth this week?
  • Where is the baby?
  • Has the dog run away?
  • Why can’t I find any of my clothes?  It doesn’t matter anyway, none of my clothes fit.  I hate that all of my clothes are heaped into a pile on the floor.  But the closet is already full so I don’t know what to do.  With the rest of the clothes.  That don’t fit me anyway.
  • I should exercise.
  • The thought of exercising makes me want to die.
  • I should eat less.
  • I wonder if there’s anything to eat in the fridge.
  • FROSTING!  This won’t make me feel guilty at all after I eat it.
  • I need to remember to dress the kids for water day at school.  And pack a change of clothes for them.  And get the 4-year-old’s soccer stuff ready.  And arrange with my mom to pick up the 3-year-old and the baby.  And get bottles ready for the baby.  And pack a change of undies for the 3-year-old…just in case.  And change for shoes for the 4-year-old.
  • Where are the bathing suits?
  • I need to put the laundry away.
  • It’s time for the baby to go to sleep.
  • When was the last time the baby ate?
  • I wonder if I cleaned the cat litter this week?
  • Do you think anyone will notice if I don’t take a shower (again) tomorrow?
  • Is it bedtime yet?
  • I need to change the sheets on the bed.
  • And wash the towels.
  • Why have I not put away the box of winter hats yet?
  • There was something I needed to add to the grocery list but I can’t remember what it was.  Why can I never remember anything?
  • I need to start a baby book for the baby.  Why am I such a bad mom?
  • What snack am I going to bring when it’s my turn to bring a snack for soccer?
  • I need to email the soccer coach to explain why the 4-year-old missed practice yesterday.  I guess I should have emailed him yesterday.  Or the day before.
  • I need to go to the post office.  Before that, I need to write birthday cards, wrap presents, find the kids’ artwork, find mailing envelopes and find the address book.
  • Nightlights!  Nightlights is what I wanted to write on the grocery list.  Where is the grocery list?
  • Why can all other moms breast feed their babies for as long as they want?  That is so unfair.  I’m a bad mom.
  • Did I remember to go to the bathroom at all today?
  • What happened to all the birthday candles?
  • Should I invite friends over for dinner this weekend?
  • DINNER?!  What am I going to make for dinner?  Why do we always have to eat dinner?
  • Pack lunches.  Make bottles.
  • Go through the mail.  Where is the mail?  Nothing in this house is organized.
  • I should go through all the baby clothes and sort and organize them.  Before I do that, I need to find the tape.
  • Why is the floor all sticky?
  • Where is the 3-year-old?
  • I need to remember to buy more glow sticks.
  • I feel bad that we didn’t go camping at all this summer  I’m a bad mom.
  • I should take the kids to the pool this weekend.  That will make up for not taking them camping.  When we get to the pool, they’ll cry that I can’t take them in the big pool while watching the baby at the same time.  Why can’t I do that?  I’m a bad mom.
  • Maybe the baby will sleep in the stroller while we’re at the pool so I can take the big kids in the big pool.  Then everyone will be happy.  That will never happen.
  • Why can’t I find the tablecloth?
  • Where is my phone?
  • I should be more organized.  I should yell at everyone less. I should relax.
  • There are only two gallons of milk in the refrigerator.  I need to buy more milk.
  • More stores should have carts with two seats in them.
  • Costco is always so crowded.
  • I wonder where the bag of clothes for Goodwill is.
  • Should I not let the 4-year-old wear winter boots to school in the middle of summer?  What is the worst that could happen?  Her feet could sweat off.  Then maybe tomorrow she won’t choose to wear fur-lined boots in August.
  • I have to remember to go through the lost and found at dance next week to try to find the 4-year-old’s missing leg-warmers.
  • The 4-year-old’s ballet shoes are too small.
  • The lady at dance told me her name was Camille.  But then she sent me a text and signed it, “Love, Babs”.  Was that a joke?  Did she not tell me her name is Camille?  Was the text from some other mom from dance class?  Did I remember to pay for dance?
  • I think someone’s prescription for something is ready to be picked up at the pharmacy.
  • Maybe I should start waking up earlier.  I am not a morning person.  I should be a morning person though.  I’m also not a night person.  What does that make me?  An afternoon person?  Is that even a thing?
  • Why is the stupid cantaloupe not ripe?
  • I need to remember to drop the small diapers off at Sarah’s house.  Sarah takes her kids camping.  She’s a better mom than me.
  • Why is my shirt all wet?
  • I wonder when my toenail is going to fall off.  I should really do something about how disgusting it looks…
And on.  And on.  And on.  Until I fall into a heap on the bed around 11 PM, alarm set for it to all begin again at 5:30 AM.
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About Anna Thornley

Anna Thornley
Anna Thornley is a Jersey Girl living in the Wild West with her husband, their three children (with another one on the way) and two dogs. She desperately misses the beach and humidity but tries to remember to appreciate the beauty of the mountains. She works full-time outside of the home and is generally frantic in her attempts to keep everyone (and everything) moving in the right direction. Her house is a mess, but everyone in it is happy and loved—so she considers it a success. Anna spends almost all of her free time doing laundry. Her family loves to spend time together watching football and playing outside. Anna is still trying to come to terms with the fact that her family expects to eat dinner every single night. Follow Anna on Twitter to keep up with all her family’s antics: @rudeytudeymama

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