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Why Being a Mom Can Feel Lonely

girl friendsBefore I had my son, I would consider my social life healthy. I enjoyed frequent girls’ nights out, sporting events with couple friends, and hosted small parties. When I found out I was pregnant, I did not think anything would change. I always imagined play dates with friends, multi-family vacations, my kids growing up and becoming best friends with my friends’ children. He would seamlessly integrate into my life. I thought my friends would surely have kids with the next couple years.

Then reality slapped me in the face, and hard. I was the first out of all my friends to have a child, and still four and a half years later, I can count one hand the number of my friends I have who have children. My son’s start to life was anything but easy. My husband and I saw the inside of a hospital a lot during first two years of his life. This was the start of my feelings of isolation

Suddenly some of my “friends” stopped calling and texting as frequently as they use to. When we did talk, the conversation felt superficial, forced and obligatory. The worst was when invitations to birthday dinners and BBQ’s completely stopped. The excuse: “Well I didn’t think you would even come, since you know, you’re a mom.”

Yes I am a mom, and damn proud of it, but that does not mean being a parent instantly turns off my need to socialize and feel like a person.  If anything, it enhances it (to an extent). This was yet another stage of life when friendships were tested.

Almost three years later, there is still a lingering sense of isolation. I still have not made that many mom friends, and it’s hard for the few people I do consider friend to understand when I need vent about a rash or share a laugh about an epic meltdown I recently experienced. I feel guilty that I am not still not able to plan weekend playdates for my son or that I feel I can only vent to my husband, who is amazing, but can only take so much.

I’ve searched for moms’ groups, and sadly have come up short. I did however find, Reno Mom’s Blog and decided to take the leap and be more involved than just being an active reader. I am tired of feeling isolated, I want to expand my circle of mom friends, and ready to take on the challenge of creating a more interactive and personal community for the moms of Northern Nevada.

In the comments below, let me know who would be interested in attending events and meeting mom friends. If so, what kind of events? Both with kids and without, because we all need a break.

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About Jennifer Bracciotti

Jennifer Bracciotti
Jennifer Bracciotti is the Marketing Coordinator for the Outlets at Sparks, Located at the Legends at Sparks Marina. She is also mom to her self proclaimed “mini-me” Isaac, 4. She is a lover of all things fashion and depending on who you ask might have a slight shopping addiction. She is passionate about helping others define and achieve their style for less.

4 comments

  1. Jessica Santina

    I felt this too when my daughter was really little, but two things made a huge difference, and both came with her age: 1) daycare (and, eventually, kindergarten), where she met a lot of friends and I started becoming friends with their parents at events, birthday parties, etc., and 2) extracurriculars. Some of my closest friends now, people we spend most of our weekends with, are families we met in our daughter’s swim and dance classes. It takes a little time, but it does happen. When they’re really young it’s harder, but as they grow and get involved in school and activities, you’ll meet friends in an organic way, and it’s great because you can always count on your kids being occupied playing with each other while the parents get to enjoy a relaxing glass of wine. 🙂

  2. I still feel the same after having my baby girl . It’s been a year later and the friends I have now have become more moms that I can finally relate to and I don’t feel so alone; which I think is so important .

  3. I’m right there with you. I’ve lost friends due to growing up/growing apart, & I’ve lost friends due to traumatic losses of trust. So when I do make new friends, I have trouble putting myself out there enough to bond past the superficial. It’s only gotten harder now that I’m a mom.
    If you start a momma playdate group, I’m definitely in.

  4. I would Def be interested. ..my husband and I have had a hard time in Reno meeting people and friends that we can actually hanget out with and do mutually enjoyable activities. We like to play outdoors, so hiking, bbq’s, outdoor games, home wine tastings, etc. …

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