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Please Do Not Ask Me What I do All Day: The Life of a SAHM

After 3 years of being a full time working mom, I took the leap and became a SAHM April 1st of this year. I’m happy with my decision. It’s really amazing to be able to spend this much time with my kids. There are a lot of benefits and I know that I am really fortunate, and so are my husband and kids. I knew going into this it wouldn’t be a cake walk, because I had great maternity leave with both kids and spent about 11 months home with them between the two maternity leave plans. I was semi-seasoned as a SAHM. I think one of the most frustrating things I’ve experienced as a SAHM is the stigma that I have all this free time now that I am home. Seriously? You have some balls if you ask me “what do you do all day?” or “how nice is it to have free time now?” YOU ARE INSANE. You have a completely delusional outlook on what it means to be a SAHM. I’m home with a 1 year old and three year old all day. I dare you to spend a week by yourself with my kids. My day is spent teaching, feeding, entertaining and cleaning up after toddlers. Oh, I also do laundry by the boat load and keep up with other household chores. Most days, I can’t even go pee or get dressed without something like this happening.

Sadie loves to get into the trash and recycling, multiple times a day.

recyling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She also loves to play in the dog water or pour it on the floor.

dog bowl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning, Daddy left his bowl of oatmeal upstairs. Sadie found it and put the bowl and spoon in the toilet while mommy was getting dressed. Oh, she also climbed in the toilet, too. In the name of safety and cleanliness I removed her before snapping this picture.

oatmeal in the toilet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sadie loves toilet paper, too.

toilet paper

 

 

 

 

In addition to cleaning up messes made by Hurricane Sadie, I try to keep a clean home, but sometimes doing that with kids around is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. I think my husband deserves to come home to a clean house after working all day, and if we’re being honest, I can’t stand having a messy home, so I clean… a lot.

 

 

Here’s what my kitchen and family room look like at 7am when we come downstairs for breakfast.

clean kitchenclean family room

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s what they look like by 7:10 am (and I promise you, it just gets worse throughout the day. This is only 10 minutes in.)

 

messy kitchen messy family room

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also clean up toys (lots of them).

 

toys2 toys1 toys

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here we are sweeping the floor. Sophie was actually being helpful by sweeping the dust piles into the dust pan. Sadie, not so much. Mostly, she just scattered the dust piles around.

 

sweeping

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also do laundry.

 

laundry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I do lots of it, because most days my 1 year old can’t stay clean for more than 10 minutes and my three year old thinks she is in a runway show and changes outfits multiple times a day.

 

laundry Sadie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While a large part of my day is cleaning up after my kids and keeping up with the household duties, another large part of my day is teaching my kids and keeping them entertained. We leave the house for an activity every day.

 

We go to the library.

 

library

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We go to the park.

 

park

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We go to Jump Man Jump.

 

jump man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We go to the Discovery Museum.

 

discovery museum

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because if we don’t get out of the house for entertainment, we have meltdowns from being under stimulated and cooped up. Big scary melt downs.

 

melt downmelt down 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In addition to being a housekeeper, teacher and entertainer, I’m a cook! I make three meals a day and three snacks a day. My husband always has breakfast before work and he’s always sent to work with a lunch. We rarely eat out. It’s just not in the budget when you’re on a single income. I spend a good chunk of my day in the kitchen and cleaning up meals. Toddlers are notoriously messy eaters.

 

spaghetti face

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I am very fortunate to have this time with my kids and I love it. I also know what it is like to be a working mom. I worked a demanding corporate job for three years while being a mother. I think each situation presents a set of challenges. Being a working mom meant my kids were in day care and away from me 9-10 hours a day. It meant laundry on weekends and less family time. It also meant not having to worry about finances or a budget. It meant having adult conversations and stimulating my brain. It meant alone time. Being a stay at home mom means lots of time with kids. More time with my husband in the evenings because chores are done. Weekends are mostly free of chores and laundry. Our family life has really improved. But, it also means having very limited time for myself. Cleaning up messes all day long. Not stimulating your brain past “the wheels on the bus go round and round,” and sometimes feeling isolated, like you live on an island with two messy, loud, loveable toddlers for 10 hours a day. I don’t have a lot friends, it’s hard to when your kids are this age. Everything is so scheduled. There’s a huge misconception out there that we SAHM have coffee circles, girl time and loads of play dates. It’s just not true. At least not for me with a 1 and 3 year old. I have a good friend with a toddler who lives 1 block away from me. We rarely get together. It’s tough when your kids are this age.

So, next time you’re wondering what a SAHM does all day, or how we spend our free time, consider this blog. And God help you if you have the balls to ask me one of those questions, I might punch you. Seriously.

My family is lucky that I am able to stay at home, but trust me, there isn’t a lot luxury, there aren’t coffee circles, there isn’t TV time, free time almost never happens… most days there isn’t even a shower and if I want a shower, most likely I’ll have to go to the gym for that.

 

 

 

 

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About Meagan Sabich

Meagan Sabich
Meagan Sabich grew up in Las Vegas, NV and moved to Reno in 2004 to attend the University of Nevada, Reno. Since then, she has called Reno her home. She's a former corporate girl who worked for Microsoft and Facebook, before turning in her work badge to be a stay at home mom and wife for her two girls, Sophie and Sadie, and husband Mike. Meagan is an avid cook and very passionate about food. When she gets free time she likes to blog about her cooking adventures on her blog at Waist Not, Want Not, or share recipes for Reno Moms Blog Feed the Fam Series. Meagan is very passionate about fitness and enjoys yoga, zumba and weight training.

4 comments

  1. I totally totally totally agree on this about being a SAHM!!! High five!! I am a SAHM too. Actually SSAHM, Single Stay At Home Mom. I have a 4 year old and a 7 month old. Oh my if you see my house, it looks like a jungle! Boat loads of clothes from me and the 2 little pumpkins. I am an OC person but having them at home I can never clean the way I used to. Toys are everywhere, clothes here and there. They also cry in a duet. Haha! Yes sometimes I don’t even have time to pee or take a shower. I know it will get better. Having these two are a blessing from up above. I am a lucky SAHM because I get to spend hours with them. I wanted to have a “me time” but I just can’t. Oh no it’s not how the other people see a stay at home parent. We don’t live with coffee circles, girl time or pamper time (I wish), not even a playtime with others. It is hard but fun at the same time.
    So for all SAHM out there cheers to us!!! Woohoo!!

    • Meagan Sabich

      Cheers to us!!! Being a SAHM can be crazy, but it is also so rewarding and amazing to watch these little human grow!!! I’m glad you enjoyed the blog!!! 🙂 – Meagan

  2. YES!!!! Spot on momma! I have a 20 month old and I have a friend with the same and we live 3 miles from each other and we are lucky to see each other once a week. But we each only have 1. When the 2nd ones come I see it being more like once a month. I do occasionally have time to sit and do nothing while he naps. But when I take those moments it usually means I am trading it for something else and I will be folding laundry at 10pm or the house won’t get vaccumed etc. I get very upset when my husband asks me this question but it is also hard to explain why everything takes so long and how one activity a day is ENOUGH but sooooo important! He had our son all by himself for an entire weekend and I haven’t heard any question like that since. When I got back from my weekend away… The house was destroyed and the laundry was waiting. No sick days but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

  3. I love your post for its honesty and truthfulness. I just have to say that I was a full-time working mom and had my husband work out of town for 2.5 years, basically due to the need to start a new career. Our closest relative was in Arizona, so no free babysitting or any kind of breaks for me from the kids to do grocery shopping and chores. In addition to working 40 hours a week, I had to get the kids to daycare/school, pick them up every day, take them to swim and their extracurricular activities, doctor’s appointments, cook meals, pack lunches — you name it, everything fell into my lap. Talk about exhausted! My husband is back home now, but I would not wish my experience on anyone. However, it developed a significant compassion within me for single parents, who, in my opinion, do not get enough support in our current society. I think we should do everything we can to support single parents, and parents of all types, in our community. Thanks for your honest and endearing post!

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