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Goodbye Working Mom, Hello SAHM.

BFI am making a huge change on April 1st. March 31st is my last day as a working mom. I am switching gears and becoming a stay at home mom. In April, my kids will turn 3 and 1 and it feels like the right decision for our family. I’ve always worked, so I am a bit terrified about cutting back our income by almost 50%. I’m nervous about not feeling the triumphs of being a worker bee. You see, I like feeling accomplished, and I love solving problems. I like working. I like making my own money. I like spending my own money. I have always been fiercely independent. I’m scared. I’m afraid that leaving the workforce will stifle me in the future when I want to rejoin. I hate to say it, but I know there will be employers that will look at that gap in my resume and judge me for my decision to be with my kids. If we’re being perfectly honest, I don’t even know how much of my sense of self is tied to the corporate world, but I know I am ready to take a chance and find out. I know that I absolutely identify as a wife and mother first and foremost. I know this is the right decision for me and for my family right now, because when I said it out loud for the first time and fully made my mind up about it, it felt right. It felt like this massive weight was lifted off me and I could breathe.

Being a working mom is hard. So ridiculously hard. Particularly, when your kids are young. It’s hard to leave your kids in the care of someone else 5 days a week. It’s hard rushing through breakfast and trying to get out the door in a timely manner 5 days a week. It’s hard when my toddler asks me not to go to work. It makes me sad that my girls don’t get to interact with each other as much M-F. Time management is hard, because when I am with my kids, I want to be with them completely, but I still have to keep the house running, too. It’s hard to keep up on the cooking, cleaning, and laundry when I am away from home 40+ hours a week. Lately, I have felt so exhausted and burnt out. I’ve also realized that the 1.5-2 hours of quality time I am getting with my kids each night isn’t enough. I’ve realized that I don’t feel balanced, at all. You see, I want to be a supermom and a working mom all at once, but after three years I am burnt out.

I’m the type of mom who cooks every meal, and I really enjoy it. Keeping my family healthy is so important to me. I’m the type of mom that wants my kids to have as many homemade foods as possible. I make bread, yogurt, and granola bars every week. I’m the type of mom who grows a garden. I’m the type of mom who likes a clean and orderly house. Piles of laundry and dirty counter tops make me feel unbalanced. I’m the type of mom who has burnt herself out, completely. My mom always told me, if you can’t change your situation, then change your situation. I wanted it all, and I wanted it all at once, but I am learning that sometimes you can’t have it all at once. When I took a step back and evaluated what was more important to me right now, it’s my family and my sanity. It’s being home with my kids and killing it as mom and wife. I’m not saying staying at home will not be easy.

I know stay at home moms face challenges each day. It won’t be easy. Financially, it will be a shock. The little social life I have from work will disappear. I’ll deal with belligerent toddlers all day, but I’m ready to start a new normal. I’m ready to spend weekends and evenings enjoying time with my family, instead of worrying about getting laundry done, lunches packed, etc.  I have absolutely no regrets about my time spent in the corporate world, because I worked hard to get where I was and I enjoyed it. I also haven’t sworn off the life of a working mom, because I’m sure I’ll rejoin the workforce at some point, but for now I am closing that chapter. A small part of me still feels a little bitter that I couldn’t have both, but I know that feeling will pass. I’m excited to experience a new normal.

 

Have you ever made the change from a working mom to a stay at home mom? What helped you settle in to the new normal?

 

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About Meagan Sabich

Meagan Sabich
Meagan Sabich grew up in Las Vegas, NV and moved to Reno in 2004 to attend the University of Nevada, Reno. Since then, she has called Reno her home. She's a former corporate girl who worked for Microsoft and Facebook, before turning in her work badge to be a stay at home mom and wife for her two girls, Sophie and Sadie, and husband Mike. Meagan is an avid cook and very passionate about food. When she gets free time she likes to blog about her cooking adventures on her blog at Waist Not, Want Not, or share recipes for Reno Moms Blog Feed the Fam Series. Meagan is very passionate about fitness and enjoys yoga, zumba and weight training.

7 comments

  1. Jenn

    Wow! Good for you, Meagan. I look forward to reading about your transition. I hear you about being exhausted and burnt out. Being a full time working mom in a demanding 40+ hour a week job can be overwhelming at times. Add to it, sports and other kids activities and forget it – exhaustion doesn’t even describe it. I hope you’re able to squeeze some time in for yourself as well. Enjoy this chapter!

    • meaganmsabich

      Thanks,Jenn!! Oh man, the sports and activities will present it’s own set of challenges. You are a damn trooper. I cannot even imagine. Right now, my biggest challenge is the lack of time I get with them. We all get home around six and my kids are in bed by 7:30, because they are so little and still sleep 11+ hours a night (not consecutive, of course. haha). I feel like a crazy person trying to squeeze dinner, play time, baths and bedtime into 1.5 hours.

  2. I worked full time for the first year of my sons life as an rn in an intensive care unit, it was one of the worst times in my life. I had enjoyed the job before becoming a mom, but I hated seeing the strain it was leaving on my family, difficulty pumping breast milk, a husband who had a hard time dealing with 12 straight hours with an infant who really liked to breast feed, and a mentally taxing job that I couldn’t leave at work when I got home. It was such an easy decision for me to be sahm when we discovered we could (probably) afford it. I am actually working per diem now, which amounts to five workdays a month for me ( nursing is so beautifully flexible!) It is such a wonderful balance for our family. I do wonder occasionally about when we are done having very little ones and everyone is in school, will I want to go back? I have some of the same fears you mentioned regarding my resume after a break. But this life is so great right now, come what may in the future I know I will never regret this time with my toddler. I hope you find the same peace.

    • meaganmsabich

      Thank you, Kelly! This is so reassuring. Since having kids I have worked for Microsoft and Facebook. I’ve loved doing both and I had amazing maternity leave with both companies, but since coming back after my second child I have felt so drained. I’ve felt so unbalanced and feel like the sacrifice of having two working parents is just too great right now. We’re in the same boat, where we think we can *probably* afford it, albeit I am preparing myself for a financial shock! My youngest will be one in April and I am still pumping for her when I am work everyday. I have such a love-hate relationship with that damn thing and I cannot wait until next month when we can simply do breast, all day everyday! It’s definitely scary taking the plunge, but for now, I will take it day by day!

  3. Hello!! I am making the same transition. My last day at work is April 4th!! I couldn’t be happier

  4. I just made the transition recently, although I’m cheating a little by working part time. It took a full month before I felt on top of everything. It’s okay, though. You’ll figure it out. Congratulations!

  5. Megan, I still have a regular job but have cut my hours in half to keep my benefits which are HUGE! However, I found a way to be home more and help others get more energy, better health, sleep better and lose weight even. I have been able to be home with my girls an incorporate earning a residual income helping others and not taking time away from my kids at all. Best thing you will ever do for yourself and your family. You will look aback on your decision and be proud of how much time you had with your family!!

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