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- I’m sorry. It was me. I just didn’t know.
When I was a kid it was just called SEX ED. And, I’d like to point out that when I was a kid it was taught in 6th grade not 4th grade- what the hell! My daughter still believes in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and now she’s going to learn about sex. F.U.C.K. literally!
I suppose I could opt her out of the S.H.A.R.E program, but then my kid will be THAT kid, the one who’s parents are too embarrassed to talk about sex in public or believe they can teach it better than the school. Even if I did opt her out, she’s still going to hear every last detail from her friends who attended and that’s not including the conversations that will take place on the bus ride home from school. I’m sure, no I take that back, I’m positive she has learned a whole lot more than I’m aware of while riding the bus to and from school each day for the last 3 years.
For the past few weeks I’ve been researching “sex ed” books and talking to parents with older kids who’ve been through the S.H.A.R.E program trying to figure out the best way to explain the birds and the bees to my soon-to-be 10 year old daughter. I would say its much more detailed now then when I glossed over “special hugs” when she asked at age 4 how her brother ended up in my tummy.
As the countdown clock began ticking away to S-Day and my daughter started talking more and more about the upcoming program, I really started to feel the pressure to beat the school to the punch. So, last week I went for it. We were on our way to piano class – a 20 minute ride from school – when she brought up the program again. So I asked her what she knew of it? I was curious, how much did she already know? Could I escape the talk? She said they were going to learn about their bodies and babies and suff like that. So, I asked her if she knew how babies were made? From the backseat I got a “yesssss, grossssss!” So now I put her on the spot. “Ok, how are babies made?” She said and I quote ” well when you are older, like when you are married and stuff you swap germs by kissing.” How can the school district take away this naïveté? My response was “well not exactly” and then I froze up. Everything I planned to say got tossed out the window and what she heard was “boys put their pee pee inside the girl’s vagina and release a sperm which mixes with the egg and nine months later a baby is born.” SILENCE! That’s all I heard from the back seat until we reached piano. She grabbed her books, hopped out of the car and before she closed the door said “that is sooo gross. I’m never having kids.”
Mission accomplished for now. I’ll save the Santa talk for another day.