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Mom Confession: Why I’m Glad I Don’t Have A Daughter

This entry is part 5 of 12 in the series Mom Confessions

having a girl is like looking in the mirror“Girls are drama,” I would tell my co-workers. I’m glad I’m having a boy. Boys are easier. Think how much easier I’ll have it when he’s a teenager.

Then came my second child. I was worried. I’d dodged a bullet with my first pregnancy, but this time I thought for sure I was going to have a girl. How would I handle it? How could I possibly raise a girl?

Then came the results. I was shocked. Another boy. I was part disappointed, part relieved. “Are you going to try for a girl?” friends would ask. “Nope. We’re done,” I would say with certainty. “Girls are drama,” I would say again, convincing myself that it was a good thing I wasn’t having a girl because I couldn’t handle it.

But that’s not the real reason I didn’t want to have a girl. I think the real reason is that I am afraid. I’m afraid I couldn’t teach a daughter how to truly love herself and be a strong, confident woman, because I am not that. I’m afraid she would see through me. She would know that I am not happy with who I am at the core and so she too would struggle with self-worth.

Oh sure I fake it pretty well. I’m admired at work for my accomplishments. I am successful in many things both at work and at home. But women can read other women. My daughter would see my weaknesses. I could not hide them from her. I would be to blame for her lack of self-worth. And I couldn’t live with myself for that.

Maybe that doesn’t make sense. But at any rate, I’m glad I don’t have to find out if I could have raised a girl. I’m happy with my two boys. They are easy to love and they love their mother.

“Boys are easy,” I say with a smile.

A girl? That would be too much like having to look in the mirror.

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Mom Confessions
Some things you just don't want to say on the Internet and have it associated with you for the rest of your life. Some things are controversial. You may not want to offend your friends or family members. Mom Confessions is your outlet to vent and start a conversation with other local moms about things that feel too raw or risqué to say in a public forum with your name attached to it. If you have a submission for Mom Confessions, submit it here. Your secret is safe with us!

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