Go with your gut. Advice we’ve heard and used. Or not used. It’s that hard to describe feeling you get about something or someone. It’s innate. It sits in your stomach like that second piece of pie you know you shouldn’t have devoured. It weighs on you. It feels like a lasso around your mind and heart, trying to pull you in the right direction. I’ve always had a pretty good gut instinct, but nothing rivals the gut feelings I’ve acquired since becoming a mom. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had such a strong sense about my son and daughter. I don’t hesitate with these feelings either. I listen to them. I follow them.
Recently I had my son all set to start kindergarten on August 18th at the public school in our neighborhood, but after attending a meet/greet, my husband and I decided to keep him at the private school where he’s attended preschool and pre-k. I won’t go into the nitty gritty of the details, but it just didn’t feel right. I wasn’t happy with several things and I left there concerned and overwhelmed by feelings of doubt. I was in tears. I talked to my husband and my mom (a former school teacher) and while they remained positive and offered suggestions, I just knew I couldn’t send him there. The school is nice. It’s right in my neighborhood and considered one of the better elementary schools in our district. I can’t describe it, but I knew it was not where he should go to kindergarten. Ultimately, I know no matter where my son goes he’ll do fine because that’s just his nature, but my gut was screaming at me and I had to listen.
Originally we struggled with staying at his current school mainly because of cost. Private ain’t cheap! It’s a horrible feeling as a parent to want for your child, but knowing you can’t provide. Or, knowing you can provide, but that it would wipe you out! I can say this though, I’d rather be wiped out than feel the way I have over the past 24 hours. Fortunately, we are able to keep him where he is, but it’s amazing how having this end result completely freed me from my gut. That “pit of my stomach” rock disappeared immediately. Had it not ended this way I would have dealt with it and moved on, but I know it would have haunted me for a while.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking public school. I went to public school and received a great education. My decision wasn’t based on private versus public. It was based on my gut feelings. My son is going to a private kindergarten, but who knows what’s in store for first grade and beyond. I don’t think it was necessarily the school or the teacher, rather a combination of things. Something didn’t feel right and my gut told me so. I’m glad we were designed to have this amazing gift; I’m thankful mine’s better than ever. I’ve never been so happy to have a gut!!!