Recently, Reno Moms Blog asked our readers what they would be interested in reading about from the contributors. There were a few hits around talking to other moms at the park. I don’t want to mislead, because I don’t have a solution to this, but I wanted to add my two cents about how difficult it can be for me to meet other moms. It’s funny, because I think of myself as an outgoing person for the most part, but for some reason, when it comes to making other mom friends, I fail miserably. I’m guarded and it isn’t the most natural thing for me. I also think the so-called mommy wars can be partially blamed for this. A lot of women have such strong opinions about their way of raising children that it can make it hard to connect with other moms.
For example, I joined a mommy group when Sophia was a bit younger, hoping to meet new friends for Sophia and myself. I attended a few events. I quickly learned that most of the moms stayed at home with their children, and unfortunately, I felt a lot of judgment from some of the members for being a working mom. There were two ladies in the group (out of many) who actually socialized with me when I struck up conversation with them. I’m thankful for those women, because striking up a conversation with another mom isn’t the most natural thing for me. And these women didn’t have something negative to say to me about the fact that I work, and didn’t feel the need to tell me all the things I am missing out out on by being a working mother. My time with that group was short-lived and I was totally bummed out, because I really wanted to meet and connect with other moms. For me, this is totally easier said than done. I just couldn’t take the feeling of being judged, or feeling like a total outcast at these events. In hindsight, I’m sure there were several moms in the group who also have a hard time making other mom friends. I probably gave up too soon, but going to these events was very awkward for me. No one likes to feel awkward, disliked or judged. I should have stuck it out a bit longer and continued to attend events. I am sure that Sophia and I would have made friends eventually, but I just gave up.
I so badly wish there was a natural way for these things to happen, and that everyone would keep an open mind about each mother’s situation. After all, I’m 100% positive that I had no trouble making friends growing up! So, I’m putting it out there today on RMB that I want to meet mommy friends. I would love to have play dates, go to lunch, take our kids to Jump Man Jump, have an occasional mom’s night out, etc. But I’m looking to meet moms who aren’t judgmental. I don’t care if you stay at home or work, breastfed or used formula, give your kids candy or adhere strictly to an organic diet. I don’t care, and I hope you don’t, either. We all make our own choices, and I don’t feel like these are the kinds of choices we should allow to impact potential friendships. Being mothers should be common ground enough to strike up friendly conversation, and a foundation can be built from there.
So, here it is. Here is my personals advertisement on RMB:
Reno, NV – 89523 – Mom seeking other mom friends. I have a little girl who will be two at the beginning of April. I have another little girl scheduled to arrive in April, as well. We live in the northwest, although I’m open to meeting moms all over the greater Reno area. We love checking out new parks and with the advent of vehicles, we’re happy to travel! I love to cook, spend time outdoors, take my daughter to the park, Jump Man Jump, the Discovery Museum… basically any place where I can watch Sophia’s excitement and see her explore. When I am not pregnant, I love wine, and I love sampling flights of beer with friends. If you are a non-judgmental mom, seeking another non-judgmental mom to have play dates and moms nights out with, friend request me or message me. Let’s become friends! Oh and here is an added bonus… pretty soon I’ll have four whole months of maternity leave. That is a wide open schedule, people. From mid-April to mid-August, we’re completely open for play dates!